Bitter Sweet

"I will Sing of your Mercy

That leads me through valleys of sorrow

To Rivers of Joy...   (yeah)"

-Jars of Clay, Valley Song

I woke up this morning to a sentiment of splendor. I have a job, a house, and... family? Oh dear, here it comes, for the first time it's really sinking in how long it might be before I get to go home and see Mom, Dad, and Ash. As if that weren't enough I was allowing my valley of sorrow to transform into a canyon of grief. I was thinking what I desired most in that moment driving down Woodmont Boulevard;My car on the descent of what felt like a roller coaster; A shell station to my right and the overpass ascending a hill that rolls to the left dead ahead. The moment was stuck, like that time I was on that Tornado ride at the fair and everything was still suspended in the air. I was caught in a red-light-day-dream. I imagined home, a summer evening, cool breeze sustaining a tolerable temperature, sun just over the horizon, a glow of orange tingling the tips of the houses all around. I was in the door way with my guitar just kicked back in front of a closed door waiting to be let in a house I've been locked out of since January of 2009. Lolled against the Door, fatigued from the long trip, I pull out my loyal companion to sing to my most faithful companion --Jesus. I wait and headlights flash across in front of our back road, not a busy road at all, so I know who it is, I keep playing singing a smile sneaking up on my cheeks. The car doors shut. I hear a slow clatter of shoes tapping to the tempo of my song, then more rapidly, until it's a tempo too fat to count. Family, their surprised looks and tears penetrate my soul and the man in front of then billows and changes to a child exchanging tears with an old friend. It's real, the scent, the touch of our hands, even Dukes bark crossing over to a quick panting and friendly pounce to say,"Where did you go? You're in trouble for leaving me."

Green Light. Dag Nabbit, stupid light, did you not know I was visiting home? Could you not have given me a few more minutes, at least let me taste Sweet Life's Pastries or Have a little bite of Burrito Boy's Carne Asada Wet Burrito! Never mind they always put too many onions on those. Well thank you Reality for under cutting me. At least God gave me a vision of how I'm going to o back to see my family. I can't complain, I've been blessed, and I needed to sop before I arrived at Logan's with tears in my eyes. Yet again, God looks out for me.

 Thirteen-hundred-applicants to Logan's Roadhouse in West Nashville and I was chosen to be a waiter. I have no experience as a waiter. I mean I did do a night of taking orders for Mr. Lancer, but I had the easy job. Why would I be chosen amongst the much more qualified? A modern day David and Goliath. Although I won't be killed trying to get people food (knock on wood) I will be thrown into a maelstrom of rude people, spilled food, and dissatisfied customers. I haven't even started yet and I'm a little stressed, nervous, scared, etc. HOLD UP! David had a sling and a stone, I've got a guitar and voice, both ordinary things but God throws a little "extra" in there

and you get "extra"ordinary. Hahaha 'm pretty Punny. Okay, moving on, Romans 6:25-34, God takes care of birds, 80% of their skull is for the eyes, would He not take care of us as well?

A sigh of relief. Thank you Jesus for your wondrous love, vast love, "extra"ordinary love. 

I went to church on Sunday and He was talking about getting outside your fence into the unknown. He mentioned relationships, I'm starting to get more familiar with this term, after all I do want to be young enough to play catch with my kids and be a hero to my kids like my dad was to me --like my dad is to me. I remember Genesis 2, a man will leave his parents and be united with his wife --I'm half way there. I know I'm going to need a few more Valleys of Sorrow to make me the man I need to be for my future wife, but it will bring me to  River of Joy that will be worth the wait. I just hope she chooses to wait for me too.

God is Good:)