Agape

Ever notice where people find God? In Solitude. Not just any solitude, but the wilderness. The unknown, the only place where a man feels like a child at the mercy of nature. If he can find a way to humble himself enough to be like a child in wide eyed wonder of God's beauty, rather than the constant analyzer of possible outcomes of death by going into a wilderness without any safety nets, then a person will find God's Heart in a new light --one that's turned on. 

I'll give you an example. 

I was 18-years-old, I remember praying when I was little that I could be a singer, "God, please give me a good voice and let me be a singer when I get older". So I sang on my free time, practiced on my own between sports, and taught myself guitar when I partially tore a ligament in my left arm during my sophomore year of football. My music dream was sitting on the back burner waiting for God's instruction to ignite the flame of desire mustering up fuel in my heart to keep the flame a live. He struck the match in November of my Freshman year at The University of Oregon. He answered, over a decade later, but he answered. I felt like Abraham waiting for his child, Allowing so much doubt into my heart that I could not recall the prayers I had casted into God's ocean until now.(By now I mean back in November of 2008, on a cold, windy, rainy, TYPICAL, Oregon day when my friend Natalie planted the first seed of music --Nashville, TN. I went from a kid living at home going to college in November to visiting Nashville in December and moving there in Early January.

Oh Dear, God I hope you know what you're doing. I laugh because I'm floating in and out of reality and by reality I mean the reality as defined by a pessimist. I go from Confident I'm one more Open Mic away from a record deal to the only certainty I can see ahead is a cardboard sign and wearing a tattered dream. God is so good though I prayed night and day for God's instructions on what to do in my life, you know what He told me? He said this using one of his greatest inventions ever, which we call sarcasm, "Ryan, it's my job to make decisions for you, it's no like I gave you something called free will." I told Him,"God, but I don't know what to pick". He said,"You've been praying for music since you were a child, yet when given an opportunity what will you do?" He told me He'd provide and you know what --He has. I chose to go into the "wilderness" to face my giant and every time I get discouraged he lifts me up. Just this morning I had a follow up interview with Logan's Roadhouse. There were 1300 Applicants and I got invited to a 2nd interview and now to orientation. I told him I've never been a waiter and the guy was still interested, that's God for you. 

I miss my family back in Oregon, but my Heavenly Father and I are growing closer than ever Amen for Agape

"All I Need"