Tired of Sleeping

By Ryan Reyna

I lay here in the wake of my own ambitions
The tide that washes over me by day and drowns the hope by night
Every night it rises, hindering the progress of a voyage still breathing
By day the water is calm, light reveals my destination
I've been ship wrecked on an island which is neither here nor there
God calls out, a ship he can guide, an island he will not
I am still, my motions mean nothing if I refuse to venture into the rolling waves
When I lay at the edge of the water I feel I am moving, but awake on the same island
I need not fear the failure to survive, but embrace the hope of living
I will build my arc and set my sails, the time is now
Summer has passed, how many more seasons will I wait
The outcome depends on the choice to lie here in the wake


Ah, I feel Better :) Writing is truly the catalyst from feelings into actions and reasoning the backbone. My reasoning is faith.

Thank You Very Much

Walking out of the Mckenzie Building I tried to go through the door and a girl had opened it, it was the right door for me left door for her. It's a universal law to only go through the right door --you wouldn't drive on the left side of the road would you? 

Regardless I opened the door for her and she said thanks and then another person saw it was open and walked through and said thanks and then a guy sneezed and a guy said "Bless You". 

Chain Reactions --Boring in chemistry, Exciting in God. Hahaha At least from my perspective, it's a beautiful day that the Lord has made and the Global Day of Prayer is in progress it is so exciting to think at this very moment people all over the world are praying for Reconciliation today, tomorrow we pray for God to lead us. 

globaldayofprayer.com

P.S. I got a motorcycle and take the Class at LCC on June 11th : )

"Is this where you want to be when Jesus comes back?"- Joe Dirt

A friend told me about a man, the man was preaching, he was preaching about Jesus. "Are you ready? Jesus is coming back sooner than you think. Perhaps in our lifetime, perhaps today or tomorrow..." He repeated the question this time the crowd had a deeper perspective on the question's intent. "Are you ready?"

Some people just laugh it off and say, "I don't believe that mumbo jumbo". There are also the Christians who just don't believe it will happen in their lifetime. Denying the possibility for fear of failure or fear of just dying in general (at least from a physical perspective). The typical,"but there's so much I haven't done God"(read this next sentence with you can do in heaven the most paramount sarcasm) "I'm sorry my child, I forgot that the things you can do on earth will be way more awesome than the things of heaven --I'll postpone my return." Oh the irony of desiring the best and seeking the world.

"To be or not to be, that is the question"; however, the other question is who gets to decide,  because if Jesus decides to come back, then who's going to stop him, even if you choose to root for the devil. The battle is already lost. "Are you ready?" What I fear the most is the book of Revelations. The events that lead to his coming. My friend who heard the man preaching felt the same way too...

My friend heard those words again, "are you ready?" and began to ask himself, what if Jesus came back right now. A conviction came over him, not guilt, guilt leads to a drowning in sorrow while conviction is a stepping stone in the progression of faith. My friend said it's not that he felt like he was a wicked man who needed to change his ways because he was treading the waters of sin to Hell's ship. No, not at all. He just said he felt like God was saying get your act together, be the man I intended you to be. Remember what it's ALL about.

As my friend got into his car to leave it went from a beautiful day to grey skies. His stomach dropped, "Could this be it?", Hail began to fall, more intense with each second until his senses heightened convincing himself this is the time. What if Hail is one of the natural epidemics to start off the return of the king? (Not the Lord of the Rings movie, either something way more intense). An abundance of untold sins he could not remember for the life of him suddenly became recollections of the most intricate detail. He began to profess his sins as the hail heightened seeking forgiveness, a get out of hell free card in a world monopolized by the devil, but redeemed by God. His heart rate rapidly increases until --the hail stops. It is done.

Later that afternoon he contemplates the events of the day still ready to run to Abba. He begins reading Revelations focused on each individual letter of the text, he draws upon a single sentence having never read this book of the bible before, "When the first angel blew his trumpet, hail and fire were mixed with blood and thrown on the earth. One-third of the earth was burned up, one-third of the trees was burned up, and all the green grass was burned up." Revelations 8:7, and then, "And huge hailstones, about one hundred pounds each, came down from heaven upon men; and men blasphemed God because of the plague of the hail, because its plague was extremely severe." Revelations 16:21. He was brought back to the earlier question of the day, What if Hail is one of the natural epidemics to start off the return of the king? God had answered. Not only is it one of them , but it is what comes with the sound of the FIRST angel's trumpet! What is God trying to say? I have no answer. I would rather not elaborate a theory for something that put my life back into perspective, but I can only look upon the sequence of events in my friend's story and tell him what God told me through him --not what God intends to tell him. Although I hope in doing so God reveals to him what he intended to make of this whole narrative.

I can only end this entry in one way and that is with a question which I hope you won't take as lightly as you took it in first line...

"Are you Ready?"

Home

No matter how old you get. No matter how much you change. No matter who you strive to be. No matter how much time passes. You will always be remembered as the child of the youth in your hometown. 

I came back home today. 3 months gone by, 3 months of nothing and no one. The only friends I had I talked via laptop, with one exception. Other than that, it was a lot of alone time out in my "wilderness". I had failed. I went out for music and had to come back. I reached out for more and came back with nothing --at least nothing to the naked eye. Arriving home I was expected to be met with disappointment and "why'd I donate my money for his failure?". Instead I was greeted with I'm so happy you're home and I missed you so much. 

I went from oatmeal and CostCo doughnuts every meal to "What can I cook for you?" I realized how meaningless it was to be stubborn and refuse help all the time. I was the kid who pretty much flunked, by my standards, all my classes my first term, not because I'm a bad student or didn't listen, I just needed help. I was the same way I was now, so lost by all of the demands that I would focus on one and miss the others. A  bunch of jumbled thoughts in no chronilogical order and a perfect reflection of my mind for those who know my far from normal mind the best.

I get Agape Kai Pisti tomorrow morning:) I put his picture (8 weeks and 3 days) at the top 

(Love And Faith [in greek])

Alone...

Read this One sentence (even if it's an incomplete sentence) at a time

Tears so cleansing you'd think I was a mere child being bathed by a loving mother with a unburdened heart of joy. That feeling, driving at night. Always at night. No other car on the road. Blinking red lights ahead. Unable to focus on your surrounding. Beautifully broken in a strange vulnerability of the emotions. Why do we cry at night when we feel alone and feel so relieved. OR a deeper question, are we really alone?

Alone: without anybody else.

Look closer,

ALONE: Without ANYBODY else.

God is an all knowing being not a body, we represent the BODY of Christ, so when we are alone in our car, we are indeed alone, but we are not by ourselves. God is there, we draw closer to God because the fear of the darkness, the absence of light, during the day time we can walk through the parking lot just fine, but take away the light --we got problems. Darkness makes the simplest of tasks difficult. Darkness brings fear to the ultimate height, it is the climax of all scary stories, the best tool for reverence.

Why did God make it then? Hmmmmm...

It is here in the darkness we are able to reach the ultimate goal of faith --submission. The absence of what is good reminds you of what is the truth. Lies are good because they bring out the truth:

Through constant lies a person can find the core of a person. When the lies are brought out of a person, only then can they be made right.

Death is good because it brings people to life:

People do not really value life until it's taken away only then is the daily routine shattered and value put on every second spent, no not spent, given to us. We don't deserve it, we didn't earn it, God cannot rob us f something that is not rightfully ours.

Darkness is good because it brings out the Light:

Darkness evokes fear and the only way to face fear is to muster fear up. Fear is a blessing because through fear faith is given, in our most vulnerable state, when a person will do anything to get a sense of control back into their hands, what will he or she choose? 

You lose your job --Do you steal in fear of a life of poverty?

Someone upsets you --Do you gossip behind their back in fear a friend will take their side?

You find a wallet --Do you take the money in fear of a missed opportunity?

Now we should all know the answers to these, but when fear is present, fear of the unknown, which will a person actually choose. Here is where faith and submission is shown, in this state of vulnerability is where relationships build. Here in the presence of fear a person is defined by God. Anyone can give abundantly when abundance is given to them, but in a time when God "taketh away" should we draw back our hearts or push them closer to God. Reach higher. bend our knees farther. Raise our voices stronger. Cry out to Jesus. Alone. I almost feel like Alone is short for All but one, Al...one, Alone. Keep in mind that one in the midst of alone. There is always one even when you feel alone. God is there listening, weeping with you, cradling however much or little of you heart you allow God to mend, Emmanuel God with Us.

Rejoice in your fear and your loneliness, for it is here in your trials and transgressions that you find the heart of God.

:) I felt Alone tonight.  

God's Eyes (for a second)

Ever notice how a picture never does a scenic view, or any view for that matter, justice? Ever heard someone say,"Oh man, you had to be there to see that sunset" or "The picture just doesn't do it justice"? 

You see, we are all made in God's eyes. You've heard this before, but have you taken the time to really think what this means? We have a part of God in us and for a second God gave me a deeper grasp of what this means --I'm going to share that with you.

A camera is man made, when you take a picture it really only has one solid focal point, a person may  look somewhere else in the picture, but can only focus as well as the resolution of the picture. I realized this at Costco when I was watching an HD TV. The picture was perfect, but was not the same as reality.

Next time you drive observe your surroundings not only can you focus your eyes around you, but you can also turn your head. You are able to clearly see whatever you choose to observe.

Then it hit me --BOOM. God sees the same way I do when I focus on one point, but God sees that way with everything. I changed my focus from the Dory sticker my sister left on the upper left hand side of my rearview mirror (she did that to help her smile on her way to school. That day it made me smile), next there was the line of blinkers from the oncoming traffic, blinking out of synch with only a pattern God would be able to find, then to the thought of driving down Broadway downtown, if I was that amused with the blinkers here, who knows what would happen if I tried to take in my entire surroundings of Broadway as I ventured down that busy street at night. How can God see all that? I cannot fathom it.

If there's one thing I should know it's just because I can't fathom it doesn't mea God will not allow it to happen.

Take Peter walking on water toward Jesus. Call it a myth or a lie if you like just because you cannot fathom it, but I believe it really happened. Peter must have been so scared because he knows what it's like to sink, he knows what to expect, standing there at the edge of the boat hearing Jesus call,"Peter, don't be afraid, I am here", worst case scenario, Peter steps in an swims back to the top, so what was he afraid of? 

He was not afraid of falling in the water he was afraid of something different, if Jess said,"Hey Peter, I want you to cannonball into the water and get back in the boat", Peter would have been like, "No problem!", but he asked him to do something that would go against everything he knew. Something that would bring him to the realization that just because you've got God in your heart, doesn't make you God of your world. The fact of the matter is we are afraid to see through the eyes of God because we are so used to the heart-breaking reality of the world. Our world. The one that we've messed up from the beginning of time and beginning of our lives. The more we think we understand the more lost we get; when we submit to God, then we will truly begin to understand because we won't just focus on our destination while we're driving, we'll obsere the present, comprehend our surroundings of the "Now" and ultimately begin to get a glimpse of the world through God's eyes and see the world as God intended it. 

Funny how in a few seconds God can show me all of this! If that's not proof of how awesome and truly Divine God is, pray about it, and God will show you too:)

God Bless Ya'll,

You're in my prayers!

Freedom

I pray my son is a better man than I.

Why do people fear freedom? We fight restrictions as instinct but naturally know how we really feel about moving out, going off to college, driving a stick shift for the first time, riding a bike without hands, pole vaulting, (fill in the blank).

Freedom is a speech about a dream that brought equality, Freedom is what brought strength to a timid crowd in front of William Wallace, Freedom develops Wisdom and Discernment, Freedom is the blessing and the curse that brought Jesus' Crucifixion. We exercised our Freedom to sin and Jesus exercised his Freedom to love.

 Freedom, Freedom, Freedom.

Get used to the word.

I so badly want to go back home, where everything was easy. My life gave me a false, yet real, sense of independence. A False Freedom. I am pretty sure I'd find it easier to fight off cravings for Freedom than it'd be to actually be free. Life is easier when I am oppressed by a king. Life is easier when I am dictated and not the dictator. At some point there is a point of no return. Will I go back home or not? Will I go back to the comfort of false security or CHOOSE to be engulfed by the maelstrom of life as the ocean roars, I'm in the eye of the hurricane, all around me chaos. That doesn't sound appealing does it? Nope. Oh I forgot one detail, I would solely rely on God. The ultimate leap of faith. Placing my life at the mercy of God.

As Addison Road would say "You're All that Matters to me." I won't just have a faith of mouth, I want a faith of deeds, therefore I will choose EVERY DAY to thank God for what I've been given. I've earned nothing. Freedom of choice is God's greatest test of all. It is tested every day. Today I felt guilty, I chose to not study for my Waiter test tomorrow, don't know why, just didn't feel like it.

Aww, yes, the power of freedom.

So as you go through your day today or tomorrow, challenge yourself, exercise your freedom of choice. exercise your divine right to serve God because you want to, not out of fear, but out of freedom.

Don't fear freedom embrace it, for you only have fear of freedom when you have a lack of faith.

God Bless Ya'll I'm outtie.

MTV Cribs

They tell you where you need to go

Tell you when you need to leave

Tell you what you need to know 

tell you who you need to be

Everything inside you knows there's more than what you've heard

More than empty conversations filled with empty words

-Switchfoot (On Fire)

I get it, but I don't. That's the Beauty. What makes God so... well... God, He is fully man and fully woman. He is fully God and fully Man. He is 3 beings, yet merely 1. If at this point you are NOT saying, "Woah Ryan, where you going here? You're telling me God is an it creature with 3 heads and one body?" I'd say, yeah, I am (with a smile) Please Bare with me.

Every Christmas I know what I'm going to get or at least an idea. My sister has her little schemes to twist it out of my mom and tells me. I don't ask for it, it just happens. Why do we get so much pleasure out of spoiling surprises? God is not like my mom, whom I dearly love and hope she takes no offense, love ya ma:), but I don't think that she considers herself at the same level of God or remotely close. God won't spoil the surprise. Why would God give us all the understanding we ask for? "God I don't get how you are 3 in 1? Explain, you got 30 minutes before I have to be somewhere, Ready....Go." If you've been a Christian for more than an hour you know this, sorry if it's only been 59 minutes, Don't worry you'll get there. 

I've been warming up to the idea of being the bride of Jesus. At first I was like, hey I'm down with the homeless and accepting people, but I'm not about to take Jesus on a Honeymoon and let him sweep me off my feet in a dress. It was all rather comical to me. I still don't fully grasp it, but here's what God has revealed to me about it:

Marriage is not about Sex. It is a close intimate union. We mess that up when we define it as two people "tying the knot". That is not the most intimate of relationships. It starts with God because it all started with God.

You're still not there? You think ing you would rather live out the partying good life "only God can judge me attitude". One word --Solomon. The man had 700 wives and 300 concubines. That's a different girl each day for over 2 years. The Son of the great David of "David and Goliath". Solomon and the most Wisdom of all kings before him and to come. Ever watch Cribs? Those fools got nothin on this bro. He still fell --Hard. He ended up building Altars of worship to other gods. 

We have a God that loves us. He blessed Solomon and loved him and Solomon turned to idols. How can we understand a being that works like that? 

I was in Philosophy, fun class, but meaningless jargon. Focuses on the aspects of life and not life itself. Guys, it's so important to realize the beauty of life, why are we here?

To be loved. That's the simple answer. The Hard part is that yellow-brick road from ignorant to loved. Some choose arrogance instead. Your choice, but don't get mad if people love on you just the same. That's God's way of saying,"Hey, get your butt out here, before you get tuck in that burning lake."

As you may have noticed I jumped around a bit --yes this is an under statement. I did this purposely to give you a quick visual of what God is like. I know it was cruel and unusual, but I told you to Bare with me. God is Like this Blog entry, a FRACTAL, a pattern that is so hard to trace you have to get a Bird's eye view of what's going on in order to see any relative pattern. In summary, try not to waste too much time trying to understand God. Spend more time trusting God. It's tough for a Christian to transition to transition from the Convenience God (looking to God only at your convenience) to a Marriage with God (24/7 365 God). The time period is inevitable where we need to try to understand, but part of understanding is accepting you won't understand until the Glorious Day Love calls you home.

I can't wait for God's "Christmas Present", can you?

God Bless ya'll I promise I'll try and make my next entries more organized and on one subject:) 

Sea of Faces with Broken Cases (From Scholarship to Discipleship)

College: An institution of higher learning. (according to Webster) College: A sea of faces, walking around in a constant blur, in a flurry, aimlessly moving toward weekly goals and deadlines. Living day to day, complaining about the business of their schedules, but secretly loving the purpose that the constant demands bring to their lives. The purpose that allows them to resort to Cruise Control in life. The purpose that if, dare I say, stopped, would bring them to the impossible analyzation of their being, their true wants, their true desires, the treacherous transition from cruise control to stick shift. (According to me)

 Yes, college the great distraction.

I'm not saying drop out of college and move to Nashville and I'm not saying the common working man is better than the average college student or vice versa. I'm not saying these at all. What I m saying is this...

College is not a faith. People attend college more religiously than church. Walking around people focused on their days work is good for some people, but, if you're like me, you feel a need to open your eyes. A need to look around you. A need to see the big picture. I don't want to se a person as the girl I always pass on my way to Phil 101 or the guy I always see hanging out in Starbucks, I want to see that person as just that, a person. A person with feelings, emotions, trials, tribulations, likes and dislikes. I want them to know I honestly care about them. They are valuable to me because they are precious to God and I mean that with the utmost sincerity. Yes, there is a Sea of Faces with Broken Cases all around college campuses. I can only do so much as an ex-college student, but it's the people on campus that can make the difference. The people around you are broken just like you. They were given life and failed miserably in earning it, but it  gets better!

"Because (Adam) disobeyed God, many people became sinners.

But because (Jesus) obeyed God many people will be made right in God's sight.

God's law was given so that all people could see how sinful they were.

But as people sinned more and more, God's wonderful kindness became more abundant.

So just as sin ruled over all people and brought them to death,

now God's wonderful kindness rules instead,

giving us right standing with God and resulting in eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord"

-Romans 5:19-21 (NLT)

God showed us our sin not to make us feel guilty and drown in our unholiness, but to realize our desperate need for Him. Our desperate need for grace. The most powerful part of this scripture is that God's grace grew as we became more sinful. It doesn't stop there though. It says God's wonderful kindness rules over all people more so than sin. YES --Grace is more powerful than sin! Grace is not just the little girl next door who is adorable and innocent. Grace is a 250 pound man on a Harley Davidson cruisin' around lookin' to give sin a bruisin'. Don't limit God. I wish I knew this during my first term at the U of O. Our job truly is to be the guy who nobody knows his or her name who moved the boulder away from the cave so that Lazarus could rise from the dead. Just because I'm helpless and cannot raise Lazarus does not mean I didn't help (not that God couldn't do it on His own). Remember how excited you got in grade school when there were hands on activities and not book work or in science when you did fun experiments? God is a cool science teacher. Sure He could do it himself, but then we'd have a heart of expectancy rather thank thankfulness. 

If you get one thing out of this it's move your boulder, God will do the rest. Move the road block for the 250 pound Grace to move down the highway and beat sin away from the innocent. Open the door for God, but don't try to be God. If you're thinking of something right now that is your boulder to move right it down, put it where you can see it and cross it out when you do it, move on to the next one. A Super Hero never becomes content when he saves the day, he gets prepared for the next day, when lives are at stake we shouldn't settle.

Thanks A.J. for the Lazarus thing.

God Bless ya'll, sorry this one was long I hope you got a lot out of it.

Books:Me::Cake:Fat Kid

Aww I get to start reading the Shack today. I also got a $25 iTunes card for Valentine's day from my parents... I love them so much. I bought some sweet songs mainly needtobreathe, Jimmy Needham, Brandon Heath, DONNIE MCCLURKIN, and some others. Randomly I got some Seal in there. I was inspired after hearing Danny Gokey's rendition and his song Hero by Mariah Carey. I loved it. He is so good, has an inspiring story, and he was a church music teacher. AWESOMENESS. 

Anyways, Today was gorgeous at least that's the way it appeared. I looked out the window and the golden haze was reaching out over the sapphire sky. B-E-A-U-Tiful. I got ready, threw on my shorts prepared for a gorgeous day, but I stepped outside and shivers slid their way down my body. I was overcome with the cold air. What a deceitful little poop the weather was being. I remember getting to work and watching people hustle into the gym seeking refuge from the piercing cold air. It was quite ironic to see the scenery as I observed people's reactions. Running rather than enjoying what looked to be like a wonderful environment. Have you ever found yourself in a situation where it looked like all was well only to find you were not dressed for the occasion? Life tends to do that to us. It's important to not just walk in a faith of sight but include all the senses. Hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil, touch no evil, taste no evil. If we only focus on one sense of Holiness we lose track of the others. Life is about being balanced, faith should not be any different.

I just nought Bethany Dillon's song You Are On Our Side

Check it out:)

Gluteny

So I sinned today. I went to lunch with my coworkers and they challenged me. I'm a male and that's code for "Hey Ryan, are you man enough?". It came in the form of Buca's Large portion of Fettuccine Alfredo. The bartender looked at me (yes, bartender, in TN I can sit at the bar as long as I don't order alcohol), looked at the guys, looked at me again and told me,"Have you been here before? You sure you want to do this?" That's male lingo for "Hey pansy, what do you think you're doing?". I told him nope I've never been here before and bring it on.

Apparently a few days before game day some of the Tennessee Titans go eat there to carb up and THEY don't finish the Buca Larges! I met my match. Neeedless to say I only ate about 3/4 of the platter, but they were all impressed. I had won --my pride did at least. Here's what I won today:

-Gluteny

-Feeling sick

-A 25 dollar meal (including the 9.5% tax and 20% gratuity) I'm a good tipper.

-And about 30 lbs. of nastiness in my stomach

Wait a minute.. That doesn't sound like I won. How often does the devil do this to us? Hey, you won, like those dumb ads in the corner of facebook,"Need a Girlfriend" or my personal favorite because it just sounds ridiculous "Hot Christian Singles Near You", sometimes we just need to step back and ask ourselves, what's Truly at stake here? What am I fighting for? Best Case scenario? Worst case scenario?

You see the devil is tricksy (as Smeagle from Lord of The Rings would say). he didn't even let  finish the plate! He convinced me to sin and then I didn't even get what I wanted. He's got a dollar bill attached to a string and I'm the little kid chasing it. Now God is the parent that walks up and pulls the dollar bill away and before He gives it to us He shows us how to spend it, save it, and what makes it more than just a piece of paper. 

No more over indulging. Sometimes pride can take a hit instead. I do pray that every sin would be like gluteny, because it's just not fun at all and therefore I don't want to do it. Hmmm maybe I'm on to something...

Darn, I lost it. lol

Jibber Jabber. Confusion :/ Wait.... I get it

I was confused today. I had an awesome day, I got a haircut, spent a while at the gym working out and playing basketball, and working a little bit because a few people called in sick. Those are completely irrelevant though. My God moment came after work when I was driving home. Again at the Harding Exit. The homeless guy was standing in the rain with his headphones in. I reached for some change and had it in my hand rolled down the window and waved him down. He was walking down the line of cars looking for someone to give him some money and there I was waving him down. He looked at me and kept walking. I was sitting there, the rain coming into my window, waiting for him but he walked around aimlessly with his headphones and sign. I was flustered, I thought to myself,"Really bro, really?" Rolled up my window and followed the car ahead of me through the green light. Why would he not take my money? Did he not see me? Is my money not good enough? BAM! BAM! God moment.

How many times do we ignore God looking for something better? 

"Why are you looking for love

Why are you still searching

As if I'm not enough

To where will you go child

Tell where will you run

to where will you run?"

-Tenth Avenue North 

(By Your Side)

Seriously Ryan, seriously? This really sums up the "now" of my life. What the flip am I searching for? Love? God is love. Music? God is Music. What part of life can be complete without God. Perhaps the few moments we spend on the "throne" don't need God, but who wants to spend their life on the "throne"?  Be realistic. God is what matters. We are beggars, looking for something better or an illusion of something better, some people choose to settle with illusions. I won't, I want the real thing. I don't want to walk away from God waiting in his car, in the rain, window down, calling out to me. Ryan, I have what you need, Why are you looking as if I'm not enough? God has a plan for me. I think I'm going to take it, actually that's an understatement, I will take it. I used to be afraid to admit it and here I am admitting it to the world the best way I know how. Thanks God for the confidence :)

Don't look for something more. Run to God. Would you rather be city league champions on your own or World Champions with God? I know what I'd choose. God bless you guys and life is choices even CHOOSING not to make a choice is ultimately a choice, so there's no way to play it safe. Choose the right one ya'll. Peace out.

New Church

I went to a new church by myself this morning. I've never been to a church that is mainly a cappella. It was a new experience and the only song I remotely knew was "Come thou fount" (Thanks Niki) lol Everything was set in a routinely fashion. I felt a little out of place after nobody clapped after the baptisms. I was about to do it, but wanted to wait considering I didn't know how this church did it. I should've took a hint when the people by the door to the sanctuary were passing out hearing devices, kind of comical now that I think  about it. Everyone dressed in suit and tie or "Sunday's Best" and here comes Ryan with his Blue shirt that says "Jesus.", blue jeans, and some sweet sneakers. What amazed me was how everyone sat down simultaneously and the entire congregation opened and closed their hymnals at the same time. Crazy. One thing that really stuck out was the man to my right. He was probably 80 or 90, sang off key, but proud. The interesting part was that he sang off key, yet it was so soothing. I liked it. Like when your a child and your Grandpa has a really deep voice and you jut love the way the sound richly slides down you eardrums and rattles your heart. He made me feel like a kid again, the only person I didn't meet sitting next to me is the one who impacted me the most. The lady to my left was very proud of the church, didn't mention Jesus her focal point was me going to that church, she smelled like my great-grandmothers' perfume, which made me feel even more like a kid.

Now, the sermon was pretty good, although he mentioned Jesus only a few times, he spoke about the 10 commandments and how everyone of us has broke them and in Exodus all the way through, I think Numbers God gives us 613 laws. As if 10 Commandments weren't hard enough, the extra 603 laws knock us off balance with God. Reassuring our need for Jesus. This reminded me to humble myself, pride ALWAYS results in destruction, at least when the pride has myself as the focal point. In Exodus chapter 19 God tells the people He has delivered from Egypt to follow Him and keep the covenant He will keep them as His special treasure. in verse 8 they tell God CERTAINLY. 40 Days later they are worshipping a Golden Calf. Oh dear. His main point was to prepare yourself. You may not know what God has planned for you, but you can shake the dust out of your clothes and prepare yourself to meet the Lord. When He gives instructions you want to be ready, just as you make things right with people before coming before the altar. 

Do I plan to go back to the church? Doubt it. 

Did I enjoy my time there? Yes.

The ministry God has put on my heart is focused on the teachings of Jesus and the focal pint is people, not just the Body of Christ, but the House of the Lord. Everything that belongs to Him --the entire world. Therefore, I will keep looking for a church that shares my passion. I'm not saying one way is better than the other. I'm just saying a person's heart Is their GPS and God is the destination, listen for the directions from your heart and follow them. We're not robots, we're Christians, God has a plan for EACH one of us. I'm listening to His plan for me. Are you?

Hope this is a little inspiration. God Bless ya'll live for Him.    Jesu. (Nuff Said)

Saturday/Valentine's Day

"Give me Your eyes for just one second

Give me Your eyes so I can see

Everything that I keep missing

Give me Your Love for Humanity

Give me Your arms for the Broken Hearted

The ones that are far beyond my Reach

Give me Your Heart for the ones forgotten

Give me Your eyes so I can see"

-Brandon Heath

How awesome would it be to see people the way that Jesus saw people? When we see an angry, irrational person, God sees their pain. Jesus saw their pain. How could we retaliate with frustration? How would we be able to look a person in the eyes and sincerely be upset if we saw what Jesus saw in that person.

Is a person's life, their core, their soul, not worth more than that moment of frustration? Even the Devil knows this. Do you think He really wants us happy? He couldn't care less if we were happy or sad just as long as we keep our hearts from going to God. If all He has to do is make a person rich to get their soul He'll do it a thousand times over. 

We are the Body of Christ. Apparently most people want to be the head of Christ, but few people are actually doing the work. How can God save the world with just a head? He needs arms to reach, feet to keep pushing forward, hands to grasp onto people, it's a never-ending analogy really. The focal point of Jesus' Ministry was the sick. Doctors don't come to help the healthy after all. I was listening to the radio and the man said,"80% of Christians agreed that helping out the poor and needy was a vital part of Jesus' Ministry,"however, "of that 80% just 2% actually felt like they were out doing that sort of work" I'm not trying to condemn people, this is more like a public challenge to myself. I was also hoping maybe it would inspire other people too.

I'm going to start with that homeless guy off the Harding Exit on my way home.

I love Valentine's Day because it shows a person's real character and feelings toward another person. Whether it's a well-thought out gift or (true story) breaking up with someone so you don't have to get a gift and then asking them out the next day! Yeah a guy from my high school did that (and she said yes) Ladies, come on, seriously? Well regardless of how your Valentine's day goes, think about my challenge and maybe hold back on treating yourself TOO much and instead treat other. After going out to eat send a few dollars over t a table with people you don't know and may never know. "Store up your riches in heaven"

God Bless Ya'll,<--Haha you like that guys? 

      Ryan Reyna

Kingdom of Heaven

Kingdom of Heaven

I was driving to work and there it was a gorgeous house on the hill displayed for all to see. I stared at it (for a split second so I could safely observe so it's okay). I see it every time I'm driving t work, but this time it really stuck out with the gleam of the sunrise on it (I was heading to work early to meet a lady for Yoga Class, which was crazy awesome). As I watched I couldn't help, but have envy of this gorgeous house. I desired it sooooo much. I slowly began to realize, Woah, if this mansion was built by human hand, how much better will heaven be? If God spent 6 days to build EARTH, how long did He spend on heaven? 

Look at the picture I posted, can you believe Heaven will be far better than this? Oh my goodness! My mind can't grasp it, if yours does please tell me. 

Another story. There was a lady who came in to work two days ago, she was looking for her Loreal lotion. The entire time she was saying,"I don't know why I'm here, I'm not going to find it" and similar things. My coworker, Cara, goes over and finds it in 2 seconds and the lady is so thankful and it makes her entire day. Cara then proceeded to tell me,"You see Ryan, if you don't believe you can find something that is really there you won't, but if you believe you  can the you will."

God Moment... Ballin!

She was negative from the beginning and for the first time I could see. I am very visual person, same with guys in general, it's a fat. Seeing this take place showed me the bigger picture of this negative behavior. I didn't focus on the lady as much as the situation. How often are we so caught up in the likelihood of a situation rather than the capability, like I was driving home and the same homeless guy is always there, I always give him some change but today I gave him a couple dollars, I could have focused on the likelihood of him getting booze or drugs with the money or the life changing possibility that my dollar bills would be the ones to make the difference and help him turn his life around. I'm going to try to make him a sandwich once a week and sticky note a bible verse to the bag, a new one each week:) Negativity doesn't help.

Optimism is KEY

"So be truly glad! There is wonderful joy ahead, even though it is necessary for you to endure many trials for a while."

1 Peter 1:6

Good Attempt, but doesn't Suffice

"Count your blessings."

-New job I start on February 22nd, woot woot!

-Food 

Typical days food consists of:

Breakfast-Clementine, Muffin or Oatmeal, Turkey Bacon, Water (milk if I'm lucky)

Lunch-Clementine, Oatmeal,Perrier Mineral Water

Dinner-Multi Grain Wrap with Peanut Butter and Honey or Nachos

Snack-Wheat Thins

-Awesome Housemates (Justin, Rick, Mike, and C-Bass)

-I got in the car to go to work today and "Indescribable" by Chris Tomlin came on and when I arrived back home the same song was playing just as I pulled up, I think God is trying to tell me something with this one :)

-Regional Manager came to check out our work and I was able to keep it spotless because the Half Hour he was there there were not that many people in the gym

-The wind was refreshing

-I started practicing with a metronome

-I wasn't scheduled to work a whole week and so I talked to my boss and she messed up so I am working, yay!

-I can read my Bible everyday and have been lately:)

God is just so good and I missed so many Blessings I don't know what to do with myself haha

What He sees in me? I do not know.

Eros

What is the correct way to show a girl affection? Here's the hard part --in a Godly fashion. Sometimes I think it'd be easier to have God put me into a deep Sleep and take one of my ribs and make me a wife like Adam.

I want to let her know, "Hey, I like you --a lot. I had the perfect girl in mind, but she seems so flawed compared to you. We have the same passions and pretty much the same brain wave. I would like to pursue you and get to know you better." 

Hmmm, well at least God has a sense of humor because we tend to make things more complicated, I am pretty sure He's got my life favorited on His Tivo.

The humor in this is that she'll probably read this eventually and wonder who it is or she'll look for hints that it's her. The funny part is these "hints" are often just misinterpreted and result in a fall out of a friendship or relationship, so what to do?

Maybe God is just waiting for me to become the man I need to be for her or her to become the woman she needs to be for me. Well at least I know that if she likes me, then she likes me for who I want and strive to be, not who I was.

Blah, Blah, Blah. 

This is all just meaningless chatter haha

Ephesians, Everything happens in God's timing. I know it'll be worth the wait and if things don't wok out, then I know God  not only has someone better in store for me, but her as well:)

Now that  think of it God is a lot more like Jane Austen than I thought, except he has written way more love stories and His love stories are way more realistic! 

I know I cheated and blogged twice today I'm soory, this has just been on my mind and I needed to vent a bit hahaha<--Awkward laugh

Bitter Sweet

"I will Sing of your Mercy

That leads me through valleys of sorrow

To Rivers of Joy...   (yeah)"

-Jars of Clay, Valley Song

I woke up this morning to a sentiment of splendor. I have a job, a house, and... family? Oh dear, here it comes, for the first time it's really sinking in how long it might be before I get to go home and see Mom, Dad, and Ash. As if that weren't enough I was allowing my valley of sorrow to transform into a canyon of grief. I was thinking what I desired most in that moment driving down Woodmont Boulevard;My car on the descent of what felt like a roller coaster; A shell station to my right and the overpass ascending a hill that rolls to the left dead ahead. The moment was stuck, like that time I was on that Tornado ride at the fair and everything was still suspended in the air. I was caught in a red-light-day-dream. I imagined home, a summer evening, cool breeze sustaining a tolerable temperature, sun just over the horizon, a glow of orange tingling the tips of the houses all around. I was in the door way with my guitar just kicked back in front of a closed door waiting to be let in a house I've been locked out of since January of 2009. Lolled against the Door, fatigued from the long trip, I pull out my loyal companion to sing to my most faithful companion --Jesus. I wait and headlights flash across in front of our back road, not a busy road at all, so I know who it is, I keep playing singing a smile sneaking up on my cheeks. The car doors shut. I hear a slow clatter of shoes tapping to the tempo of my song, then more rapidly, until it's a tempo too fat to count. Family, their surprised looks and tears penetrate my soul and the man in front of then billows and changes to a child exchanging tears with an old friend. It's real, the scent, the touch of our hands, even Dukes bark crossing over to a quick panting and friendly pounce to say,"Where did you go? You're in trouble for leaving me."

Green Light. Dag Nabbit, stupid light, did you not know I was visiting home? Could you not have given me a few more minutes, at least let me taste Sweet Life's Pastries or Have a little bite of Burrito Boy's Carne Asada Wet Burrito! Never mind they always put too many onions on those. Well thank you Reality for under cutting me. At least God gave me a vision of how I'm going to o back to see my family. I can't complain, I've been blessed, and I needed to sop before I arrived at Logan's with tears in my eyes. Yet again, God looks out for me.

 Thirteen-hundred-applicants to Logan's Roadhouse in West Nashville and I was chosen to be a waiter. I have no experience as a waiter. I mean I did do a night of taking orders for Mr. Lancer, but I had the easy job. Why would I be chosen amongst the much more qualified? A modern day David and Goliath. Although I won't be killed trying to get people food (knock on wood) I will be thrown into a maelstrom of rude people, spilled food, and dissatisfied customers. I haven't even started yet and I'm a little stressed, nervous, scared, etc. HOLD UP! David had a sling and a stone, I've got a guitar and voice, both ordinary things but God throws a little "extra" in there

and you get "extra"ordinary. Hahaha 'm pretty Punny. Okay, moving on, Romans 6:25-34, God takes care of birds, 80% of their skull is for the eyes, would He not take care of us as well?

A sigh of relief. Thank you Jesus for your wondrous love, vast love, "extra"ordinary love. 

I went to church on Sunday and He was talking about getting outside your fence into the unknown. He mentioned relationships, I'm starting to get more familiar with this term, after all I do want to be young enough to play catch with my kids and be a hero to my kids like my dad was to me --like my dad is to me. I remember Genesis 2, a man will leave his parents and be united with his wife --I'm half way there. I know I'm going to need a few more Valleys of Sorrow to make me the man I need to be for my future wife, but it will bring me to  River of Joy that will be worth the wait. I just hope she chooses to wait for me too.

God is Good:)

Agape

Ever notice where people find God? In Solitude. Not just any solitude, but the wilderness. The unknown, the only place where a man feels like a child at the mercy of nature. If he can find a way to humble himself enough to be like a child in wide eyed wonder of God's beauty, rather than the constant analyzer of possible outcomes of death by going into a wilderness without any safety nets, then a person will find God's Heart in a new light --one that's turned on. 

I'll give you an example. 

I was 18-years-old, I remember praying when I was little that I could be a singer, "God, please give me a good voice and let me be a singer when I get older". So I sang on my free time, practiced on my own between sports, and taught myself guitar when I partially tore a ligament in my left arm during my sophomore year of football. My music dream was sitting on the back burner waiting for God's instruction to ignite the flame of desire mustering up fuel in my heart to keep the flame a live. He struck the match in November of my Freshman year at The University of Oregon. He answered, over a decade later, but he answered. I felt like Abraham waiting for his child, Allowing so much doubt into my heart that I could not recall the prayers I had casted into God's ocean until now.(By now I mean back in November of 2008, on a cold, windy, rainy, TYPICAL, Oregon day when my friend Natalie planted the first seed of music --Nashville, TN. I went from a kid living at home going to college in November to visiting Nashville in December and moving there in Early January.

Oh Dear, God I hope you know what you're doing. I laugh because I'm floating in and out of reality and by reality I mean the reality as defined by a pessimist. I go from Confident I'm one more Open Mic away from a record deal to the only certainty I can see ahead is a cardboard sign and wearing a tattered dream. God is so good though I prayed night and day for God's instructions on what to do in my life, you know what He told me? He said this using one of his greatest inventions ever, which we call sarcasm, "Ryan, it's my job to make decisions for you, it's no like I gave you something called free will." I told Him,"God, but I don't know what to pick". He said,"You've been praying for music since you were a child, yet when given an opportunity what will you do?" He told me He'd provide and you know what --He has. I chose to go into the "wilderness" to face my giant and every time I get discouraged he lifts me up. Just this morning I had a follow up interview with Logan's Roadhouse. There were 1300 Applicants and I got invited to a 2nd interview and now to orientation. I told him I've never been a waiter and the guy was still interested, that's God for you. 

I miss my family back in Oregon, but my Heavenly Father and I are growing closer than ever Amen for Agape

"All I Need"